Botanist, sous-chef, dog father of two fur-babies. Not really, but legally that's how all internet bios are required to be written these days. We checked.
In brief, Carlos is a UCSB grad and Bay Area transplant that dreams of owning the San Francisco Giants but will settle for a day game in the shade with some garlic fries. On the show, he serves as the grizzled, set in his ways character that has seen it all and adds the context and skepticism necessary in a world full of the new and exciting. He's going to go out on a limb and say that this whole "Internet" thing may have legs.
December 11th, 2019 | 1 hr 2 mins
Okay, follow me here: it’s an alarm clock that orders a case of coconut La Croix every time you hit the snooze button. Boom: insomnia solved. Get Shark Tank on the phone.
This week: ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas — but make it app updates, first class startup scandals at coach prices, and mulling over the new Mac Pro. ✈️.
December 4th, 2019 | 1 hr 11 mins
When everything is bad, sometimes — if you wish hard enough, a hero appears. That hero is: Baby Yoda.
This week: Ryan joins Team Fancy Camera®, Carlos kicks the tires on a Model 3, and the scourge that is Bublé station creep. 🇨🇦.
November 13th, 2019 | 1 hr 4 mins
We take a couple of weeks off for some R&R and demo days and all of a sudden two new streaming services launch. Cord-cutters beware: the holiday season is nigh and it appears we have the power to double your entertainment budget at the drop of a mic.
This week: Carlos discovers his true calling as a Trader Joe’s influencer and spills the beans about store mascots, Ryan outs himself as an unrepentant 12:30AM email sender, and an iconic coffee sugar bomb pairing is back. ☕️.
October 23rd, 2019 | 1 hr 25 mins
We've accidentally pivoted to being Car Talk for people in the 25-34 demo.
This week: the King James Version of the NBA controversy, Disney going hard in the paint, and feeding the customer sat machine. 🏀.
October 9th, 2019 | 1 hr 29 mins
Worlds are colliding. Joanna Gaines just installed Still or Sparkling® taps at her new coffee shop and we couldn't be happier. There's a 10% royalty attached to that branding though and we only accept payment in Chalk Paint.
This week: backup shaming, infrastructure talk, and for the first time ever, we circle back, literally, to something from last week's parking lot.
October 3rd, 2019 | 1 hr 32 mins
When Bryce Harper was traded to the Phillies by the Washington Walgreens, fans in America’s capital did not find it quite so Nice!. #expiredjokes
This week: taking a number at the IKEA DMV, browsing the aisles at Target, and pondering the looming regulation of a 4,000 pound pack of batteries on wheels. 🚗.
September 25th, 2019 | 1 hr 35 mins
Quick! Download this episode before TiVo gets the bright idea to sell pre-roll ad inventory against podcasts too!
This week: what we talk about when we talk about always on displays, long exposure risotto, and Carlos hates on an Ed Sheeran collab before getting all the facts. smdh. 🍔.
September 18th, 2019 | 1 hr 28 mins
When the robots come for our jobs, what they’ll remember was if you were mean to those autonomous Bolt EVs in San Francisco rush-hour traffic and if you helped a Roomba off a cliff. Choose wisely.
This week: shucking hard drive oysters ordered from Amazon at 3AM, waking up early is the new staying up late, and seasonal food gimmicks for millennials. 🧀.
September 12th, 2019 | 1 hr 33 mins
Due to the passage of California AB-11, which puts a mandatory waiting period on issuing hot takes, this week’s show was recorded a day late for compliance purposes. Please enjoy these cogent, room temperature takes.
This week: mixed recycling, the villains of the Trader Joe’s line, and a new way to make cold brew. 🎃.
September 4th, 2019 | 1 hr 24 mins
Look. We'll make you a deal. Become a founding member of our show before Flag Day and we'll give you three years for the price of one. That's only... wait — what's zero divided by 36?
This week: problematic TV of the '90s and early aughts, ice baseballs, and fresh margs in a pickle jar. 🥒.
August 28th, 2019 | 1 hr 42 mins
With the Chase Center opening up in just over a month, we, as biz dev and synergy experts, have an incredible opportunity to help a deserving brand acquire the naming rights for what was formerly known as Oracle Arena. Leading candidates include: the Allbirds Center, Blue Bottle Stadium, and our personal favorite, the Uber Cactusdome®.
This week: smart appliance Jenga, annual passholder culture, and we do the math on the Taylor Swift economy, feat. Shawn Mendes. 🎤.
August 21st, 2019 | 1 hr 31 mins
“Teddy told me that in Greek, “nostalgia” literally means, “the pain from an old wound”. It’s a twinge in your heart, far more powerful than memory alone. This device isn’t a spaceship. It’s a time machine. It goes backwards, forwards. It takes us to a place where we ache to go again. It’s not called the Wheel. It’s called a Fancy Camera®.” - Carlos G.
Or maybe Don Draper said it. We have no way of possibly looking it up.
This week: road trips, making memories, and a primer on how to clean and care for your iPod Hi-Fi. 🛁.
August 14th, 2019 | 1 hr 16 secs
When you really think about it, isn’t life just one big espresso machine that won’t fit under your kitchen cabinets?
This week: dog influencers, sweatpant shoes, and Ryan would like to take a moment to talk about video games. 👾.
August 7th, 2019 | 1 hr 28 mins
Rumor has it Tim Cook was first choice to be the voice of Simba in the new Lion King remake but talks fell apart when he insisted on changing the lyrics of the iconic song to “I Just Can’t Wait to be King [of Undifferentiated Consumer Financial Products]“. We can see why Disney passed.
This week: clicking around in the document, ripping up the flooring, and the answer to what $21 gets you in 2019. 💵.
July 24th, 2019 | 1 hr 30 mins
How many different kinds of smart light switches does one need to install in their home before you need to stage an intervention? Asking for a co-host.
This week: headphones, trade deadlines, and we play a game of Faker Upper. 🏡.
July 17th, 2019 | 1 hr 17 mins
Yes Tim, we'll go exclusive to Apple Podcasts Plus. Our terms are that we are to be paid entirely in iPod Socks and we want a handwritten apology for the butterfly keyboard.
This week: an exciting new BlackBerry, iPad workflow hypotheticals, and Disney gives the fever dream treatment to your childhood favorites. 🦁.